I  journaled a lot throughout project matcha. It was quite the journey with a ton of ups and downs (but mostly ups thankfully!). And it took a lot of work mentally to get there. So here are my ramblings on what my main life lessons were throughout this process.

Stop caring what people think

The first thing I had to do a lot of work on is to stop caring what other people think. This is FAR easier said than done. Despite putting in a lot of effort, I still find myself tripping up into thought patterns of: Have I said too much? Did I say the wrong thing? Do they think I’m really weird?! Overthinking conversations and worrying if someone misunderstood my choices can still consume me at times. And when you do something so outside of societal norms, you really have to trust yourself. And understand it might take people a while to understand your decision. And that’s ok.

I guess I feel harsh in saying stop caring what others think. What I’m trying to say is listen to what they have to say, but don’t take it as gospel. If you’ve chosen to do something, go for it 100%. If your intuition is telling you to do it, keep going. And if someone tries to knock you down, know it’s all being seen through their lense. Not yours.

Comparison is the thief of joy

Another hurdle I worked through is understanding comparison is the thief of joy. I kept having a constant urge to compare myself to others. Whether it was colleagues, friends, or neighbours, this habit took me on an emotional rollercoaster. I have since learned to appreciate that everyone has their own unique values and ways of spending their time. I have come to understand that I don’t have to follow the same path as others. And yes I’m taking a risk leaving my very stable career, but that’s a life for someone else, not me.

Self worth

And now onto a topic that can seriously hold you back. Self worth. The value we place on ourselves can so easily become a barrier to living the life you choose. I have questioned why do I deserve to do this? And then I think of what I would tell someone else asking this same question. I would tell them you absolutely deserve it!! Why on earth not!? So on days when I was aware my self worth was low, I recognised I’m not going to be super confident of our decision every single day. And I kept thinking of what I’d say to anyone else wondering if they are worthy.

Reflection

If all of the above fails, I always come back to reflection. I reflect a lot through journaling daily. And I imagine myself at the age of 80. I think, what does 80 year old Beth want to be reflecting on? I know she’ll want to be proud of the risks she took, even if they didn’t work out as planned. She’ll want to have been time rich. She’ll have wanted her to have been fearless. Having followed her heart. And she’ll be wanting to remind me daily, that I am worthy.

And I absolutely deserve to do this.